I didn’t kill that store employee. It was Jace. But still, it was an accident.
* * *
I live in East Orange. It’s not too far from New York, so I often say I live in the big apple, New York City. I’ve got a little apartment on the 18th floor of my building. It has everything I need, a couch that folds out into a bed, a TV, a small kitchen and a bathroom with a laundry machine next to it. I also have a little coffee table beside the couch. I always eat on the couch because there’s no room for a big dining table, and the small coffee table isn’t big enough for all my food.
I work as a cashier at the laundromat near the south side of town. I live near the north side of the town, but that’s never a problem because East Orange is pretty small. It’s only a 15-minute drive.
I don’t even have to do anything while at work. Everyone knows how to work a washing machine, so I’m never called over for help. Plus, you put your cash in the washing machine to get it working, so I just stand there behind the counter looking pretty stupid. But sometimes an old lady will walk in and have no idea how to wash her clothes. So that’s what I’m here for, I guess. Most of the time there’s nobody in the laundromat because everyone has their very own private washing machine in their homes at this point. It’s the 21st century. Just me and my very annoying manager, Rocky, work there.
So, that’s my life. It’s not much, but I’m happy with this. Every other Friday, I go see my four friends, Rick, Oliver, Justin and Jace. We meet up at one of our houses, it’s a different house every time. This week we’re meeting at Jace’s house and he’s got a massive house because he won the lottery. He didn’t give a single penny to me though. Talk about being a real friend.
On Friday, I hopped into my car and got onto the highway. I drove down to New York, where Jace lives in his giant mansion. When I arrived, I parked my car in his garage. I saw his Lamborghini and his Porsche also parked in the garage, as well as Oliver and Rick’s cars. It was a huge garage. I’m pretty sure he has another massive garage below this one too, probably filled with Teslas.
I somehow find my way out of the garage and up to the front door. I walk in and Jace, Oliver and Rick are all sitting on the couch watching some sort of random sport I’ve never heard of before.
“Troy!” Oliver shouts quickly.
“Troy!” Rick belts.
“Tuhhh-rooooooooooyyyyyy,” Jace screams.
“For once, you’re not the last one to arrive!” Oliver chuckles. “You’re actually on time!”
I was the only one who didn’t live in New York, so I was always late. However, there wasn’t any traffic so I got there in time.
“Huh!” I chuckle. “Where is Rick though?”
“He’s still on his way,” Jace said.
“He seems to be in a gridlock,” Oliver finishes.
“Oh,” I smile. “I guess he won’t be arriving for a while.”
I march over to the fridge to grab a can of Nestea. Then I sat down with Jace and Oliver on the couch and watched a random sport that doesn’t make any sense at all. They were whacking tennis balls with frisbees- I’m pretty sure this is some sort of SNL skit.
“Did I ever tell you guys how I won the lottery?” Jace brings up, out of nowhere. He gets up off the couch, then does a little spin, showing off his massive house.
“No!” Oliver seems surprised. “You don’t even buy lottery tickets, how the hell did you win?!”
That is true. Jace never bought lottery tickets, he brought up many times that the lottery was impossible to win. When I heard he had won, I was very shocked.
“Well,” Jace starts. “I walk around a lot, which means I’m always looking at the ground,” Jace starts acting it out with his middle and index fingers as if they’re walking around. “There are around 20 million people in New York, and a lot of them play the lottery, meaning a lot of them drop their lottery tickets.”
I could start to see where Jace was going with this.
“And so, I found one on the ground and picked it up. I checked the back to make sure nobody had signed it, and nobody had. I thought to myself there was no way I could win, but I kept it until they drew the numbers. And, well, the numbers they said matched the ones on my card, and that’s how I won the lottery.”
“Woah,” Oliver says, starstruck.
“Some unlucky person lost out on 82 Million dollars!” Jace exclaimed.
I almost spit out my drink. 82 Million dollars?! I knew he won big, but not 82 Million dollars big!
“And how much have you already spent?” Oliver laughs hysterically.
“Not that much,” Jace said. “Just around 20 Million.”
I chuckle. “20 Million is a lot, y’know.”
Jace laughs. “Hey- I found that ticket four years ago, okay?”
“Yeah, but you’ll be bankrupt in 12 and half years if you keep spending like that,” I smile.
Then, Justin bursts through the door.
“I made it!” Justin exclaims.
“JUSTIN!” Rick shouts, very excitedly.
“Hey, Justin!” I shout.
“Justin!” Oliver yelps.
“Juuuuuuustiiiiiiiinnnn!” Jace drags out his name, the same way he did when I arrived at his house.
“Hey guys,” Justin says, closing the door behind him. He walks over to the couch and sits down with us. We are now all squished up against the couch.
“I don’t think there’s room for all of us on this couch,” I say, a little uncomfortably.
“Then why don’t you go sit on one of my five other couches?” Jace laughs.
I roll my eyes sarcastically and move to another couch.
“‘Okay,” Jace said in a firm tone. “Now that you’re all here, there’s something I’d like to… suggest.”
“Okay…” Oliver says in an unsure tone.
“What if…” Jace pauses. “Instead of going to Troy’s tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, apartment next, next, Friday…”
Jace pauses again, I roll my eyes.
“What?” I ask.
“We rob a convenience store.”
I looked at him like he was a sea otter whose fur was dyed key-lime green and rolling around in a heap of sand on top of a solar panel. Y’know.
“Rob a convenience store?” Justin asks.
“Why…” Oliver asks, in the same unsure tone.
“You’re a centimillionaire, why would you want to rob a convenience store?” I beseech.
“Oh come on,” Jace begins. “Troy, last time you were complaining about how your life is boring as hell and how all you do is nothing but eat frozen mac’ n cheese out of your freezer. Remember you showed us that picture? The boxes take up half your freezer. Don’t you want to do something a little risky?”
“Yeah… but why do we have to rob a convenience store?” I reply, still a little confused. “It seems like such an odd thing to do.”
“We’d all just take something small. Like a pack of gum.”
“And what happens if we get caught?” Rick asks.
“I’ll just give them a thousand dollars and say it was some sort of YouTube prank,” Jace reassures Rick.
“All right then,” I say. “Let’s go… rob a convenience store…?”
I try to say that as if I’m excited, but it ends up more as a question.
“Oh yeah, and we’re gonna do it in the middle of the night!” Jace says.
“Oh,” Rick, Oliver, Justin and I all say in perfect unison.
“What’s the worst that could happen? Huh?” Jace asked.
“I dunno, getting caught and arrested for trespassing and robbery?” I inform Jace.
“And then we get set free fifteen minutes later. It’s not that big of a deal, Troy. Plus- we won’t get caught. We’ll be super sneaky.”
“How are we gonna get in?”
“Through the roof,” Jace smirks.
“What,” all of us say in unison.
“How are we gonna get on the roof?” Rick asks.
“Using my helicopter.”
Justin sighs, “When did you get a helicopter?”
“Oh, just last week,” Jace smirks.
“How much did it cost?” Justin sighs again.
“8 Million Dollars,” Jace jokingly sighs in the same tone as Justin.
“So we’re gonna land a helicopter on the roof of a convenience store…” I ask, uncomfortably.
“Yeah!” Jace says with a bright smile on his face.
“That’s going to make it a whole lot easier to get caught,” I add.
“Whatever,” Jace shrugs.
I sigh. “I guess we’re going to land a helicopter on the roof of a convenience store.”
“So we’ll all meet back here in two weeks,” Jace said.
“Yep!” Justin says.
“‘Kay,” Oliver yelps.
“Alright,” I sigh.
“See you then,” Rick waves goodbye as he leaves.
I somehow managed to find my way back to my car. I drove back home, however, it took a while because there was a whole lot more traffic.
* * *
Over the next few days, Jace texted the group chat we made with all five of us in it about the plan for robbing the convenience store. I thought it was kind of stupid, all we were doing was taking a pack of gum. But Jace does have a point- my life is boring. I am complaining a lot.
The next few days were slow, all I could think about was the convenience store. Even though Jace said we wouldn’t get caught, I don’t exactly trust him. We’re landing a helicopter on the roof of a convenience store- it’s going to be extremely loud and big. I’d be surprised if we didn’t get caught.
One week until the convenience store robbery- Jace has somehow made me feel excited and less nervous. He has a point, if we get caught we’ll just throw money in their faces and we’re fine.
An old man walked into the Laundromat with his grandchildren… I’m hoping. He talks to them about being good on their new boat and how to not let, and I quote, “Your mother drown in the lake, the blue fish will try and eat her up because we all know her hair tastes like fish treats.” What? Some people are really weird. It’s not like I’m weird… breaking into a convenience store by landing a helicopter on the roof just to steal a pack of gum is normal… right?
“And also if your mother drowned in the lake it would be pretty bad for my boat business,” the grandfather continues.
A boat business? What’s he doing in a laundromat then?
“Hi there son,” the grandfather comes up to me. “I live on a boat and my washing machine broke.”
“Okay,” I say in response.
“And I’ve got these kids with me staying on my boat who need clean clothes so I’m gonna wash them all here if that’s fine with you.”
“Of course… this is a laundromat, sir.”
He smiles and walks over to the nearest laundry machine. There’s too much laundry, so he ends up using two more machines. He leaves and comes back an hour later with his grandkids to put the clean clothes into the dryer.
An hour later he comes back with the same massive blue suitcase he walked in with. His grandkids are missing this time- hopefully, the blue fish aren’t eating their hair! He piles the fresh laundry into the suitcase and just as he leaves the door, I stop him.
“So, you live on a boat?” I blurt out.
I don’t know why I asked him that, I don’t like talking to people.
The grandfather pauses and takes a few paces backwards. He looks at me for a second, and his old, wrinkly lips crack into a smile.
“Yeah!” he smiles. “I do. It’s a boat I designed myself. I’m the founder of Bob’s Boats, you can find us down on Ocean Avenue.”
He hands me his business card and walks away. I examine it- it’s pretty simple. I don’t know why I’d ever need a boat, but I slip it into my wallet to let it sit there, probably for years.
“All right, I’m heading out Rocky!” I shout to my boss in the back.
“WHAT?” Rocky shouts back.
“I said I’m leaving!”
“Your shift doesn’t end for another seventy seconds!”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” Rocky replied.
“Fine, I’ll wait seventy seconds.”
“Thank you.”
“57 seconds, 56 seconds, 55 seconds, 54 seconds, 53 seconds…” I start counting down, but Rory interrupts me.
“Oh my god, you’re so annoying just get out of here,” she pointed to the exit.
“Thank you,” I smile, leaving.
On my way home I decide to stop at the convenience store that we’ll be robbing. I stand outside and check out the roof, I’m not sure a helicopter would be able to land on there.
“Can I help you?” a boy about my age peeks out the door and sees me. I assume he’s the manager of the store. I must have looked weird standing outside looking at the roof. Feeling pressured, I go inside.
“No, sorry,” I say, brushing past him into the store.
The store is pretty nice. It’s your average convenience store, probably not much different than the one down the street from yours. I decided to buy a pack of gum, mint flavour.
“That’ll be $2.08,” the clerk said.
“Two dollars and eight cents?” I think to myself. “Gum is getting expensive. Can Jace even afford this?”
I pay with a five-dollar bill.
“Your change,” the clerk said, handing me a two-dollar bill, three quarters, a dime, a nickel and two pennies.
“Oh that’s fine,” I chuckle. “You can keep the change.”
“Thanks,” the clerk smiles, putting the change in their pocket.
I walk out of the store and decide to pass by Bob’s Boats on Ocean Ave. on my way home, out of curiosity. It seemed like a nice business, but I’m not sure many people are looking to buy boats in East Orange. But hey- he lives on a boat. What more does he need?
And a few days later, I had my last sleep before the robbery. I have a dream the cops show up, but instead of arresting us, they give us free tickets to go see the Yankees in New York.
Little did I know, it would be much worse than that.
And alas, as I woke up the day finally came. The day when I will steal a pack of gum from a convenience store.